As an adult coming to full realization of being Autistic, I’ve come to realize many things. One of them is that Allistic people seem to have a much different meaning of “I don’t like X” than autistic people do.
I have seen people throughout my life say “I don’t like X” but then they eat, touch, look at, listen to, do, whatever it is they say they don’t like, and it’s as if there isn’t even a single issue there. They complain about not liking it, and then just do it, like it’s easy.
I’ve spent my life growing up saying “I don’t like X”, except, when I say I don’t like something, I mean that it can, and often does, impair my world. Things I “don’t like” aren’t just a matter of inconvenience. Things I don’t like can keep me from eating or showering for days on end. Things that I don’t like can obliterate my day in a matter of seconds if the dislike and discomfort is bad enough.
Throughout my life, I’ve basically been told to buck up and shut up when I don’t like something. Told that, just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean I don’t have to do it, as if, by knowing something is a necessity that just means it’s all hunky-dory.
When I say I don’t like something, I don’t mean this fluid, simple, easy to dismiss dislike of any particular thing.
When I say I don’t like something, I mean it can ruin my day, I mean I can’t stand it, I mean that, even if I like the whole object, the part of it that I don’t like can keep me from the whole entirely (as said before, food and showers are a really good example)
Stop telling me I’m whining when I say I don’t like something. Stop telling me to buck up when I’m resistant to doing what I don’t like. You think I enjoy having such a hard time with supposedly simple stuff?
I don’t mean the same thing as you when I say “like”. I just know that’s how I feel, I don’t have a better word for it. Maybe loathe? Wary of? Concerned by?…. no. None of those fit. There are just some things that I don’t like, and those can make my life so much harder by encountering them.
It doesn’t make me lazy.
It doesn’t make me weak.
It doesn’t make me whiny.
This is something that allistic people need to understand. “Like” in the autistic world isn’t just a matter of bypassable annoyances. Please stop treating it as if that is what we mean when we say we don’t like something…
No wonder I felt so ridiculous and lazy growing up